Nature
by SeekerFreefall
Summary: G1. Twins, Jazz, Hound, Trailbreaker. Sick, childish humour. Idea yanked from a three-word prompt on the TF kink meme that hasn't been answered in over a year by anyone else, so I thought I'd give it a try. Wanna guess which prompt? :


Title: Nature

Author: Freefall

Rating: T

Characters: Twins, Jazz, Hound, Trailbreaker.

Setting: G1

Summary: No one ever suspects the quiet ones... and Sunny prefers actions to words. So who would think that the yellow twin would be the one to pull a prank?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers (other than some of the toys) and am making no money off of this, nor intend to, and I doubt anyone would be willing to pay me for this anyway.

* * *

"You. Get out here. Now."

Sideswipe looked up from his game to see his brother standing in the doorway, arms crossed, expression black. When the red twin didn't move, Sunstreaker growled and stomped forward, grabbing Sideswipe by the shoulder and dragging him towards the door.

"Hey hey hey! Careful about the game, bro! What's got you all worked up this time?"

"Just get your aft outside, will you?"

Sideswipe tossed the controller on the couch and shut off the game, then followed Sunstreaker down the hall. "So.. where are we going?"

The yellow twin just grunted, "You'll see. Now shut up and drive."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Half and hour later the twins drove up to a park, complete with small children flying kites, young couples picnicking, and a pond with paddleboats. Sunny transformed and walked over to a small hillside that gave an excellent view of the entire park, then turned and glared at his brother.

"Uh..." Sideswipe had the feeling that he'd missed something important.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get over by the pond and lie down, I want to paint you."

Sideswipe stared at his brother as Sunny unsubspaced an easel, a sheet of metal and his paints.

"Well? Hurry up, you slagger, we don't have all day. The light is going to change soon, and if you don't get positioned fast enough..." Sunstreaker grumbled as he set out his paints, muttering and shifting his easel around for maximum light. Sideswipe looked at his brother, at the grassy bank of the pond, then back at his brother again.

"You're not going to shove me in, are you?" Since when did Sunstreaker decide to paint organic stuff? He'd always hated the 'messiness' of organic sceneries and preferred the clean cut lines of Cybertron, and let Sides know it every time Sides tried to get Sunny to paint something for some extra cash. So why the sudden change?

"Are you going to help out or not? 'Cause if you're not, I'll just beat you till you offline, then prop you up. It's not like you **have** to be online for me to paint you, you know."

Sides eeped and walked down to the edge of the water, then sat down. "No no, I'll ah, help. Like this?"

Sunstreaker looked up and scowled. "No, you slag head! I said lie down!" Sides moved. "On your side." Sides moved again.

"You know, if I had wanted to paint a slab of red metal, I would have just grabbed an i-beam or something, now are you going to be serious about this or not? My light is fading! You do **not** want to mess this up and make me miss the best light for this painting. Now look like you're at least _trying_ to pose!"

Sideswipe snickered and shifted again, his brother wanted a pose, hmmm? Propping his head up on one hand, he curled the other hand around the base of his elbow. He arranged his legs, one lying flat and the other bent at the knee in a pose that caused him to thrust his pelvic armour forward slightly so he didn't fall down. He smirked at his brother and half-shuttered his optics, trying for a seductive look.

Sunstreaker looked up from his paints again and sighed explosively. "Primus, do I have to do _everything_ myself? You call that a pose, Sides? Here.." Sunstreaker stomped over to his twin and shifted one of Sideswipe's arms slightly, then adjusted his bent knee and tilted his helm to the side a bit. Sunstreaker stepped back a bit and frowned.

"Hmm.. not quite it..." He continued adjusting Sideswipe's body, a bit at a time for over an hour until the poor mech was so contorted and uncomfortable he complained.

"Oh, shut up. You think you've got it hard? All you've done so far is lie down! And you can't even do that right! ...and **STOP MOVING**!" Sunstreaker slapped at Sideswipe's loose hand, which he had allowed to slide down his arm a few inches. "Put that back! Hmm...ok, maybe not, now..."

Sideswipe swallowed a groan as Sunstreaker continued shifting him around, tiny bit by tiny bit. He zoned out, closing his optics and simply moving whatever part-of-the-moment Sunstreaker told him to.

"Aaaaaaand - perfect!" Sideswipe yelped and barely managed NOT to fall over as Sunstreaker crossed his arms and nodded in triumph. "Now, don't you DARE move and ruin this, you slag heap." Sunstreaker scowled and stomped back to his easel, picked up a brush, looked up at his brother and sighed.

"Dammit Sides, the light is gone! Now we have to wait another four hours at _least_!" Sideswipe groaned, but didn't move. With the mood Sunny was in right now, moving would be _very_ bad.

"Sunny? Uh, do I have to-"

"YES you have to stay where you are! Do not even contemplate moving a micron, you aft, or we'll have to do this all over again later." Sunstreaker recapped his paints as he snarled at his brother, "If you had just actually tried to follow instructions, we could have been home by now."

"It's just.. really uncomfortable to stay like this, Sunny."

"Well, you're not allowed to move." Sunstreaker sighed at Sideswipe's pitiful expression. "Fine. Primus, give me strength. Look, just lock your joints and go into recharge. I promise I won't let any of those organic bipeds draw on you or climb all over you, ok? I'll even give you something to lean against." Sunny walked away from the pond for a moment, then came back holding one of the decorative boulders that kept cars from driving off the paved areas and shoved it into the ground behind his brother's shoulder.

"There. Happy now? Don't bother answering that, just shut up and recharge." Sunstreaker grumped and walked back up his hill, then sat and pulled out a datafile and began reading.

Sideswipe sighed and locked his joints, finally dropping into recharge. After sitting all day in the hot sun and being used as Sunstreaker's latest body-model, he _was_ rather tired. He set his internal alarm to wake him up in three hours, shuttered his optics, and drifted off.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Because Sideswipe's optics were already off, he missed the sly little grin that flashed across his brother's face. Sunstreaker waited ten minutes, then walked over to his twin's still form and nudged him with a foot.

"Hey, Sides." No response. "Siders... wake the frag up, will you?" Still no response. Perfect. Now he just had two more things to do - make a comm call, and do the dirty deed. "Sunstreaker to Jazz..."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Sideswipe was having fun. He was having quite a bit of fun, which he figured was only his due, since he was putting himself through hell for his brother's art. He was currently having fun in the form of a dream.. a very erotic dream.

It was dark, and hard to see anyone around him, but he could certainly _feel_ them. Light touches on his arms, little nips by his waist, oooh, was that a nibble by his knee? There must be a half dozen mechs all over him, no, maybe more! Every which way he turned, he couldn't seem to make contact with anyone, but as soon as he stopped moving, they were all over him again. It was driving him crazy!

Sideswipe moaned as a sensitive nerve bundle in his neck was nipped, then nibbled, then...

"**OW**! Hey, that _hurt_!"

Sideswipe sat up and opened his optics, slapping a hand to his neck even as the laughter started to register on his audios. What in the Pit..?

Jazz sat on the grass beside Sunstreaker, Hound and Trailbreaker, all four of them laughing themselves silly - in Jazz's case, he was laughing so hard he was rolling around on the grass. Sideswipe stared at the mechs, totally confused, only to yelp as he felt the gentle touches and nibbles start up again.

Swallowing a moan, Sideswipe looked down... into the tiny black eyes of a duck.

The screech he let out scared the flock of ducks into fluttering off his frame, but the bits of bread stuffed into his joints drew them back just as quickly.

Sideswipe scrambled to his feet, waving his arms and trying to shake the bread out of himself, but all he accomplished was to attract more of the screaming seagulls that circled above him. Oh, and to amuse the four mechs even more, if that was even possible.

"Hey Sides, be careful! Some of those birds are protected species! You could get in a lot of trouble for hurting one!" Hound managed to snicker even as the red mech danced around, trailing breadcrumbs and leading a now-huge amount of ducks, seagulls, sparrows, starlings and three swans on a merry chase for food.

"AAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH! SUNSTREAKER, I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!"

That was the last they heard as Sideswipe transformed and roared out of the park, still being followed by a screaming flock of seagulls.

Jazz laughed even as he handed two cubes of high-grade energon to the yellow twin, who subspaced them with a rare smile. When Hound and Trailbreaker did the same, Jazz tilted his head at the green Jeep. Hound grinned and nodded.

"Don't worry Jazz, you'll get a copy of the whole thing."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Three days later, Sideswipe sat in the rec room, grumbling into his energon. His little table had been dragged over to the far side of the room from all the others, and it had been made clear that it was the only one available to him. The red twin snarled as he took a gulp of his mid-grade and cursed his brother's name as he slammed the empty cube down, causing a tiny piece of mouldy stinking bread to fall out of his wrist joint.

Three days so far. Three stinking (literally) Pit-slagging days of outer patrols where he was mobbed by those fragging birds from the time he stepped outside the Ark to the moment he managed to get back in. Two days ago he thought that a good hour or two in the wash-racks might get the stuff out, but all it did was make things worse. The organic crud had turned into a sticky sludge that quickly turned black and started to stink.

Sunstreaker had been kicked out of their shared room the first night, of course, and seemed to be in very good spirits even with the vows of bleach in interiors, slashed tires, reversed exhaust pipes and multiple random death threats.

Sideswipe flicked the black chunk of organic matter off the table, muttering more threats under his breath as Hound, Trailbreaker and Beachcomber approached his solitary island. The three mechs were obviously trying very hard to be serious and not to laugh, but Hound's mouth kept quirking up on one corner, and Trailbreaker's visor was a little too bright. Beachcomber - well, the blue mech didn't even bother to hide the wide grin on his face.

"What the frag do you want?" Sideswipe ground out between clenched dental plates. Most of the mechs in the room had noticed their approach and were watching, curious.

"Well, we just wanted to let you know that, uh," Trailbreaker chuckled and tried again to not laugh outright.

"Well, that we feel your pain, Sideswipe," Hound finished.

Sideswipe just glared, then drew himself up to his full height, bristling with indignation.

Hound snickered and looked at the red mech with obviously faked sympathy.

"We just wanted to let you know that it's ok to love nature."

Sideswipe started to march out of the room, only to be stopped short by the next comment.

"It's just **not** okay to, you know, _**looooove**_ nature."

The laughter chased the red mech into the hall.


End file.
